


I’ve Been Dreaming of a Disgustingly Domestic Christmas

by HaroThar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU where Bro doesn't have the demon puppet, Alternate Universe - Siblings, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5528384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaroThar/pseuds/HaroThar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mom and Dad are happily married with their four beautiful children, John, Rose, Dave, and Jade. Christmas has arrived, and it is time for fun and family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ve Been Dreaming of a Disgustingly Domestic Christmas

Dad sat on the couch, mug of tea in one hand, his other resting gently on his wife’s hip. She leaned against him sedately, her own mug of tea cupped in both her hands and a throw blanket tossed over her side and back. A fire popped in its place, warm and welcoming, and candy canes hung along the edges of the six stockings hanging on the mantle. Dad and Mom were at peace, their eyes closed, and soft Christmas music wafted from the CD player in the kitchen.

“Wake up you guys, it’s Christmas!”

Matching smiles spread on the adults’ faces, and they opened their eyes to look at each other. Four pairs of feet could be heard trampling about upstairs, and John was the first one on the main floor.

“Merry Christmas!” the eleven year old shouted, his blue pjs showing his belly button and ankles.

Dave was a breath behind his brother, and as Mom sat up the seven year old crouched on his haunches in front of the Christmas tree and enthusiastically exclaimed, “YOOOOOOOOOO!”

Baby Jade, just barely three and still calling herself two, could be heard carefully pat-patting her way down the stairs and Rose, recently turned nine, was torn between waiting for her baby sister and joining the boys in their excitement. Rose rushed in as soon as Jade made it to the ground floor and Jade pattered in after her, her green nightdress flouncing around her chubby ankles.

“Merry Christmas kids!” Dad said, smiling at his bundles of joy and setting his tea down on the side table. He moved Mom’s for her, and was then met with Jade’s outstretched arms, an imperious command of “up.” Two year old- sorry, _three_ year old on his lap, Dad surveyed his other excited children.

“Merr Chrithmaths,” Jade mumbled sleepily into Dad’s casual, holiday-themed sweater vest.

“Merry Christmas Jade,” Dad said with a kiss to the top of her messy black hair.

“Can we open them?” John asked, ever the over-enthusiastic one.

“No, John, we gotta wait for your nanna and uncles before that,” Mom said patiently, fussing with Dave’s hair in an attempt to make it lay flat.

“Why is Uncle Dirk just an uncle when Great Uncle Jake’s a great uncle?” Rose asked, eyeing a particularly large box with her name on it and pretending she wasn’t.

“That’s because Dirk is my brother while Great Uncle Jake is your nanna’s brother,” Mom said, licking her thumb before pressing down one of Dave’s cow licks. 

“So you just gotta get really old and you’ll be great,” John concluded with the infallible confidence of an eleven year old.

“Something like that,” Dad said. Jade was waking up, excited to see that Santa had, in fact, come. All of Santa’s presents were wrapped in very shiny red paper with glittery snowflakes on them. It set them apart from the other presents, which the parents had gotten for them.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Nanna! Uncle Jake!” the kids all yelled when the door opened.

“Hi mom,” Dad said, kissing her on the cheek and taking her armful of foodstuffs from her. Now empty, her hand joined the other one atop her cane. Jake, too, had a cane in one hand, and Mom took the bag of presents out of the other one. The kids were a babble of excitement over the grandma and great uncle, but Jade had her sights on the high prize.

“Hello, hello,” the old ones greeted, pinching cheeks in a decidedly grandmotherly fashion and ruffling Dave’s hair sportingly.

“And hello to you, Baby Jadey,” Uncle Jake said, observing the small child as she perched atop his dog. Bec was perfectly fine with his new passenger, waving his tail and panting excitedly.

“It’s Princess Jade now!”

“Oh, Princess Jade is it?”

“Yes! And Bec is my white horse,” she said matter-of-factly, patting Bec on the head. Bec, in response, lifted his muzzle and tried to lick her chubby little fingers.

“Well in that case,” Jake straightened- something he was still capable of and _lorded_ over his stooped sister- and said, “Hello, your Royal Highness, Princess Jade.” He bowed, both hands on his cane, and Jade giggled delightedly. She clapped her tiny fingers and her feet kicked gently, excitedly.

“Though you must tell me, Your Highness, where are your glasses?”

Jade gasped theatrically. “Oh no! I’m blind!” she yelled, covering her eyes with her hands.

“Hi blind, I’m Dad,” he called on his way back from the kitchen. Jade groaned and ran her stubby fingers into her hair before flopping down face first into Bec’s fur.

“Oh ho ho ho, she’s already done with the dad jokes!” Jake said before clapping his nephew on the back in a manly embrace.

“John, baby, why don’t you run upstairs and grab Jade’s and your glasses?”

John’s head spun to his mom, then Jade, then the stairs, “Oh, right! I got it!” He ran, missed a step, almost fell, and caught himself on the railing.

“I’m okay!” he called, continuing upward and not slowing down.

“That boy’s limbs are too long for his body,” Nanna commented.

“He’s still growing into them,” Mom said, giving her mother in law a hug. 

“Ooh hoo hoo hoo, that he is. How’s my favorite daughter in law doing?”

“Still your only daughter in law,” Mom answered, “and I’m doing just swell.”

Nanna pinched Mom’s cheek as well, twinkle in her eye, and there were three sharp raps on the door. It opened without invitation, and a very bundled, very cold looking Dirk stepped in.

“Uncle Dirk!” Rose and Dave yelled, and Jade echoed them, looking up very briefly from the thorough petting of her canine companion.

“Hey hey,” he said, stomping the snow off his boots and setting his presents down in front of the door. Dad collected two trays of foodstuff from him, too.

“Okay so I made something, which is on the bottom, and then I went to the store and I bought something that I _know_ is edible,” Dirk informed him before he and Nanna meandered off into the kitchen.

“Heyyyyy, how’s my favorite twin brother!” Mom asked, taking his coat for him as he revealed the majesty of a truly hideous Christmas sweater. Dave quietly climbed up onto the stool in the entry way, stepping on the gloves and scarf that were already there in the process. 

“Freezing. And in awe of the fact that you can live here-” Dave pounced on his uncle, wrapping his bony arms around Dirk’s neck and hanging on tight, “-and under attack! Oh no!” Dirk said dramatically as he carefully took off his sunglasses and handed them to Mom. She put them on top of her head and watched the drama unfold with a smile. Dirk bent over, pretending not to be as strong as he was, and was therefore at a perfect height for Rose to jump up and hang onto his neck too. Jade giggled and joined in the fun, attaching herself to Dirk’s leg and sitting on his boot.

“Oh, no!” he repeated, “thrashing” around and making them all laugh.

Then John reappeared at the scene and propelled himself onto Dirk’s back alongside Dave.

“OH FUuuuuudge,” Dirk said as he went down, very careful not to land on either of the girls. He laughed, and Mom and Jake laughed too.

“I’m down! I’m down, you all got me!” Dirk said, still pretty monotone even at his most theatrical. The children, of course, giggled victoriously and John pumped his fist high in the air.

“Tell my sister… she’s a buttface.”

“No!” Rose yelled with a laugh.

“You take that back!” John demanded.

“It’s true, your mom’s a buttface,” Dirk said plainly.

“No!” John said, smacking Dirk on the shoulder. Mom watched on with a single arched brow.

“Oh, what’s this? Gravity seems to be shifting,” Dirk said as he rolled over.

The boys screamed but it was too late, Dirk had trapped them under his back and outstretched arm, careful not to put too much weight on them. Rose he had in his other arm, and Jade he caught by crossing his legs. They were all a mess of shrieks and giggles.

“Uh oh, looks like your uncle got you!” Mom said, leaning over the gaggle.

The kids all yelled affirmatives and asked her for help and Dirk waved at her with two fingers, smiling slightly.

“Alright big boy,” Mom said, bending down. She then hoisted her brother up onto her shoulder.

“SHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhoooooOOoot,” Dirk said, once again surprised.

“What a woman,” Dad said lovingly as he and Nanna returned from the kitchen again.

“Yeah, you married yourself a good one,” Nanna said approvingly, thumping a gnarled hand on her son’s shoulder, which was getting to be a little high up for her.

“Oh, Jade, I got your glasses!” John said, running back to the newel where he had placed them before jumping on his uncle. “Here you go!”

Jade closed her eyes, scrunched up her nose, and puffed out her cheeks as John carefully put the circular glasses on his baby sister. When he finished, she reached up with both hands and adjusted them a little, blinking as her eyes recalibrated.

“Alright!” Mom said loudly, claiming everyone’s attention, “Who’s ready to open presents?”

Once again, there were loud shrieks and a thu-thumping of children’s feet as they rushed into the living room. Mom let her brother drop gracelessly to the floor.

“I’m wounded, Roxy,” Dirk said, voice monotonous. 

“Buttface,” she said, sticking her tongue out. She followed her kids into the next room.

Dirk stood and gave Dad a manly handshake.

“Nice sweater,” Dad said.

“Only the most ironic of ugly Christmas sweaters to be worn this season,” Dirk said, a little proud. He snatched his sunglasses off of Mom’s head as he passed her. He sat in the desk chair that had been brought in for the occasion, and the sound of a large fart filled the room.

“Ooh hoo hoo hoo!” Nanna laughed as Jake chortled, “Oh ho ho ho!”

“I still got it,” Nanna crowed, elbowing Jake in the side.

“You sure do,” he said, fiddling with his impressive mustache. 

Nanna sat in the armchair further from the fire, and Jake leaned on the back of the second armchair, also moved into the room for the occasion. Dad and Mom sat down on the couch, much like they had earlier but not as spread out, and Rose sat next to her mom. John sat next to Rose, and Jade was back up on Bec’s back.

“I wanna deliver the presents this year!” Dave announced, hands on his mom’s knees.

“Oh really?” she asked, and Dad inclined his head.

“I can read really good now! I know everybody’s names! I wanna pass out the presents this year!”

“Well you can’t argue with that logic,” Jake commented.

“No I suppose we can’t,” Dad agreed.

“Alright Dave, you pass out presents this year,” Mom said.

“Yesssss!” Dave said, pulling his fists to his hips and nearly vibrating with excitement.

“We should start with the presents Uncle Jake and Nanna brought,” Dave said confidently, “They should see us open them, but sometimes Uncle Jake falls asleep before we’re all done.”

“I do not!” Jake protested, standing up a little straighter.

“Do too,” Nanna told him, guffawing. Dave sounded out J-a-n-e and then ran over to Nanna with the present.

Jake turned his attention to the three year old.

“You know, Your Highness-” Jade giggled again, “-your mighty steed is going to get tired if you sit on him all morning. Why don’t you go sit on your daddy’s lap, mm?” Bec panted, wagging his tail merrily, looking like he couldn’t care if Jade sat on him all day.

“Bec,” Jake said as Dave sounded out J-o-h-n. “Go to Jack,” Jake ordered.

Bec trotted obediently over to Dad and Jade held out her hands again. Dad picked her up off Bec’s back and settled her in his lap. Three year olds, however, are squirmy, and she _had_ to bend over and pat Bec and tell him what a good boy he was while Dave sounded out J-a-d-e.

“This one’s yours!” Dave told her as he handed it- really, shoved it- to Jade. She took it excitedly and began pulling at it, but Dad covered her tiny hand with his large, warm one.

“You have to wait until everyone has a present before you can open yours,” Dad told her softly.

“Awwww, do I haaave to?” Jade whined.

“Those are the Christmas rules,” Dad insisted. If you asked Jade, it took for-EVER for Dave to finish passing out presents, but soon they all had one.

The rest of the present opening followed a similar pattern. The two elders didn’t receive nearly as many gifts as the kids did, but that was good. They had more than enough stuff, and really, they were just there to see the kids’ faces when they opened _their_ presents.

“Uncle Jake,” Dad said quietly, gently shaking the slumbering man’s shoulder.

“Harrum, hem, hum, hum!” Jake said loudly as he woke up. He patted Dad’s arm briskly, green eyes keenly taking in his surroundings.

“I was not asleep,” Jake said firmly, “I was resting my eyes.”

“You were snoring,” Nanna said mercilessly.

“C’mon you two,” Dad said, straightening, “Christmas photo before the kids change out of their pjs.”

Dave leaned in and whispered in Rose’s ear, “See, I _told_ you he’d fall asleep before we finished!” Rose nodded along like this was a correspondence of the utmost importance.

Dirk set up the camera on its tripod and set the timer for three seconds. Once everyone was in place, he clicked the button and flashed over, standing next to his twin and sorely tempted to do an ironic, iconic, set of bunny ears on her.

“Okay kiddos, go put regular clothes on while the adults make lunch!” Mom ordered. “Take any toys you’re not going to play with up to your rooms, too!”

The two groups filtered to the kitchen or upstairs and Dad and Nanna pulled casseroles and a set of muffins out of the oven, which was only on high enough to keep the food toasty.

“So how was getting here?” Mom asked, sipping at her long-forgotten and freshly microwaved tea.

“Good,” Jake and Nanna said as Dirk muttered, “Terrible.”

“Oh, Dirk, did you run into trouble?” Nanna asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, it’s called ‘temperature lower than fifty degrees.’ Seriously I don’t know how you all do this.”

“Oh ho ho ho!”

“Ooh hoo hoo hoo!”

“Our trip was fine,” Jake said as Dad clapped Dirk on the shoulder sympathetically. “So glad it snowed three days ago instead of last night. All the roads were clean as bones, _and_ we got a white Christmas out of it.”

“Green would have been fine,” Dirk said.

“Here, you make yourself useful and set the table,” Mom told her brother, handing him a stack of plates and a pile of silverware. Dad placed two hands on her hips and kissed her cheek from behind, still just as in love as he was fifteen years ago and feeling the need to show it.

Upstairs, draws could be heard sliding open and thumping closed. Jade got dressed all by herself, opting for rainbow leggings, a sweater, and her tutu, while her siblings dressed a little less nonsensically. 

Downstairs, silverware clattered and chair bottoms squeaked as Dad settled his mother into the one of the two chairs with armrests on it.

Outside, the snow was at just about the right consistency for snowmen, or maybe a snowball fight.

 

Merry Christmas.


End file.
